literally had 100 drinks last night.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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