please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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