So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
