just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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