My friends, they love my intelligence
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
