he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
