How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
