I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
