We're facebook friends in real life
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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