I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
