how can u be prego again
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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