went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
