i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
