plz talk dirty to me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
