we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
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