i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
