I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
