do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
