see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
