It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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