Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
