dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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