This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
