You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
