you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
