I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
