I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
