I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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