Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
