so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can't turn off my feet"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
