The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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