i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize