We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
