How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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