I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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