Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
