I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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