I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
