i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
