Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
