whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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