So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
