I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My vagina just clenched in fear
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
