Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
