and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
