so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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