im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
