I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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