Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
