Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize