Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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