like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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