At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
