Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
