My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize