I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
