She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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