The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize