Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
