No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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